WELCOME TO THE BRONX BURGER HOUSE
If I were ever involved in an intense game of "Never Have I Ever" the option of yelling out "Never Have I Ever travelled two hours to eat a burger!" is now non-existent. And that's due to the fact that that's pretty much what I did over the weekend. And boy oh boy, what an adventure. If there's anything you need to know about the Bronx upfront it's that it's big. Not just big. But expansive in an almost cruel way. Like it doesn't want you to find its corners or short cuts or cul-de-sacs or even its dead ends. It wants to tire you if you dare yourself to explore it.
But I'm not one to back down from a self imposed challenge. Especially one that involves exploring my own city. No matter how far. And no matter which borough.
The one thing that I felt I hadn't seen enough of (or had enough of) in the Bronx were burgers. Really, really, tasty and GOOD burgers. Not diner burgers. Not restaurant burgers and certainly not takeout burgers from the local fried chicken joint. But the type of burger that could easily be a trendy Manhattan bar's secret weapon.
For years and years I had heard of Bronx Burger House located up in the Riverdale section of the Bronx. So far up north that you're literally a sneeze away from Yonkers which you can walk to after you stuff your face and marvel at the fact that the Broadway you associate with mid and lower Manhattan is the same Broadway that leads you into Westchester County.
Now, full disclosure: if you don't have a car or don't have the means to overpay for a cab ride you're gonna have to take a train and a bus to experience what I consider to be one of the best burger joints in New York City. It's a shame that the Bronx gets paid seemingly little to no attention when it comes to food giving so many people the impression that there's nothing to eat but fast food and arroz con pollo. But the truth is the Bronx can't hide its secrets forever. Not if you know where to look.
As soon as you go inside you get the feel of walking into an old-timey neighborhood bar, which of course it isn't. The place is just a few years old but knows exactly the type of vibe it's going for. This is a modern sports bar that also doubles as a pub that also masquerades as a meeting ground for hipsters that also has the ambience of a small, intimate upscale restaurant, which it isn't. And to be honest had this place been the latter I wouldn't have cared for it.
At first my girlfriend and I were worried because the service was spotty. It took a while to get a waiter to pay any mind to us. And then soon after we had two waiters and about twenty-two minutes in to our visit we had a third one. Clearly there was a miscommunication. But in my head I chalked it up to three people who were duking it out over who could win the honor of serving us our burgers.
THOMAS MONSTER BURGER
burgerphile.The place is cute and small. Easily an area that could get loud and overcrowded during brunch hours or during a Sunday football game. But when we went it was pretty empty and very relaxed. And I didn't mind that at all. It made the place feel more intimate.
The Thomas Monster Burger was the way to go. After sifting through their options it didn't make any sense to go any other route. A giant double beef patty burger topped with special sauce, bacon, lettuce & tomatoes. Basically, it's an INCREDIBLE version of a McDonald's Big Mac and the fact that this baby doesn't have like a shrine somewhere on the internet boggles my mind.
The Bronx Burger House is an awesome spot and a very impressive burger joint. A must for any true burgerphile.